Filed In: breakfast recipes

Best Recipes from my Instagram Machine

Do you follow me on the Insta? Well friends, I post A LOT of recipes on insta, alongside a slew of shameless selfies, so saddle up and follow a bitch.

Any hooters. Sometimes I get comments like, hey where is the recipe, where is that, how are babies made? To which I reply, well I don’t, I don’t actually reply at all. Instead I am posting my most recent and popular recipes as seen on insta, so you can enjoy.

Thanks kitten faces!

Primal Lactation Cookies

Those I actually posted on the blog.

lactation cookies


Firewater: Daily Detoxification and Breath of Fire


Firewater Detox Water

2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 lemon juiced
1/2 grapefruit juiced
2 cups sparkling water (could use regular this just makes it delightful)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper or as much as you can handle
1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 tablespoon turmeric root powder
1 teaspoon of manuka or raw honey (optional, I omitted because of sugars)
1 huge handful of mint
Shake it up shake it up! Yummmmm.

Low Carb Almond Joy Squares

keto fat bombs

Primal Almond Joy Bars

3/4 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup of crunchy almond butter
1/4 cup cacao powder
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1 tsp of gelatin (optional)
1 tbsp of coconut sugar (optional, use sweetener of choice)
Melt everything over medium in a sauce pan, mix well and pour into silicone candy molds and freeze. You could also poor into cupcake liners and freeze as well!

Thin Mint Fat Bomb Shake

thin mint protein shake

Thin Mint Paleo Protein Shake

1 cup of coffee brewed and chilled
1-2 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1/2 scoop of cacao @paleo_pro
1 tbsp coconut butter
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
A few twists of sea salt (makes it caramel-y and salt is good for #keto folk)
1 raw pastured raised egg yolk
5 ice cubes

peanut butter coffee

Peanut Butter Bulletproof Coffee

(I know peanuts are banned under paleo, but a little here and there is fine.)
1 cup of coffee (chilled or hot I like it cold)
1 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1 raw pasture raised egg yolk
1 tbsp of coconut oil
1/2 scoop of @paleo_pro cacao
1 tbsp nut butter of choice, I used@pbpeanutbutter
1 tsp bee pollen (optional but so much energy!!!)
1 square of bakers chocolate
1 itty bitty drop of liquid stevia or sweetener of choice

Keto Bacon Strawberry Chocolate Chip Pancakes

keto pancake

🐷 2 tbsp flaxseed meal
🐷 2 eggs
🐷 2 tbsp sour cream (I like green valley organics the best)
🐷 1 strip of bacon already cooked and chopped up
🐷 1 tsp of #lilyschocolate dark chocolate chips (sweetened with stevia!)
💁🏼 All mixed up and fried in@ancientorganics ghee

Keto Donuts (recipe is actually right here)

primal paleo donuts


x to the ohhhh Whitters





Paleo Peach Blueberry Crumble!

My mission at Eat Clean. Piss Glitter. is to share workout tips, recipes and laughter for all of the busy folks of America and someday the world. I believe if healthy choices easily fit into your overbooked daily planner you are 113% more likely to stick to a healthier lifestyle. So the workouts and recipes I share take little time and prep. If you have 30 minutes to spare in your day, you have time for the workouts I share. If you can buy frozen veggies and fruit, then you can handle the recipes I create. Not to mention, a side of sarcasm and humor is complimentary with every blog post, so I hope you enjoy.

Paleo Peach Blueberry Crumble



  • 1 1/2 bags of organic frozen peaches or 6 peaches sliced
  • 1 bag of organic frozen blueberries or 2 cups fresh blueberries
  • 1/2 bag of organic frozen raspberries or 1 cup fresh raspberries
  • Juice of 1 lemon (if you don’t like tartness omit lemon)
  • 1 tablespoon of organic vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups almond flour
  • 1/2 cup chopped hazelnuts (or pecans or cashews)
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/2 cup coconut oil melted
  • 2 tablespoons of organic raw honey melted

Step 1 – Allow frozen fruit to thaw for a bit so it’s workable maybe 20 minutes at room temp

Step 2 – Mix the berries and peaches with the lemon juice and vanilla


Step 3 – Put fruit mixture in a greased (I used coconut oil) 9 x 12 casserole pan


Step 4 – Melt your honey and coconut oil and mix with remaining dry ingredients.

Step 5 – Crumble the topping on top of your fruit mixture (I like to use my hands here to get it nice and even)


Step 6 – Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until the fruit is a bubbling!


Step 7 – Try not to eat the entire pan in one sitting…


I leave you with this thought:

Life is just too short for us all to be a hybrid of Betty Crocker and Jillian Michaels, so work smarter not harder with your health and well being, and never turn down a piece of dark chocolate or paleo crumble, ever.

x to the ohhh



#butterbooty Burger Lounge Giveaway + Keto Krispies Cereal! {sugar-free grain-free paleoish low carb}

You. Guys. I miss cereal so much with my whole heart. I love it. The problem is when I have cereal, I have like 5 bowls not 1. So whilst I preach the moderation wagon, this is one treat I actually really cannot indulge in.  At least not Rice Crispies (my weakness). Except for when I am in the hospital recovering from having a child, Rice Krispies on Rice Krispies on Rice Krispies!

So when I came across this recipe I was beyond intrigued. Made a few modifications and arrived at Keto Krispies. YUMMMM!

 Keto Krispiesketo krispiesIngredients

3 cups coconut flakes (unsweetened)

1/4 of water

1 cup hemp seeds

2 teaspoons of Xyla (could use stevia or something else or maple syrup if not concerned with sugars)

2 teaspoons of Vanilla extract

2 teaspoons of cinnamon

1 teaspoon of salt

3 tablespoons melted ghee (or pasture butter or coconut oil)

  1. Preheat oven to 300 degrees F.  Line Cookie sheet with with parchment paper.
  2.  Melt ghee in a sauce pan over low
  3. In a large bowl, add water along with cinnamon, salt, vanilla and xyla. Whisk until dry ingredients are dissolved. Add ghee. Add coconut flakes and stir well until flakes are evenly coated. Be sure flakes are not sticking together. Taste for sweetness.  Add more sweetener if desired.
  4. Bake for 15 minutes. Carefully remove from oven and carefully stir. Bake for 15 minutes. Keep repeating process until golden brown and krispy, but KEEP an eye out. Mine burned. But I still LOVE IT.
  5. Pour some with a little coconut milk, raw milk, heavy cream whatever. You really do not need a lot of liquid, it absorbs it like crazy! ENJOY!

IMG_0153 keto krispies

#butterbooty Burger Lounge Giveaway

So, the #butterbooty challenge is rocking my world. You all are so awesome and inspiring, and also, totally kicking your own donks which is fun for me. One thing I want to share over this 12 week challenge is that eating can be enjoyable. You do not have to be a crazy person, and you should indulge here and there. That said, if you have not discovered Burger Lounge or do not have one near you, I sincerely apologize. Like, from the bottom of my heart apologize.

Burger Lounge is one of my favorite places to go out to eat at on the entire planet! Simply because it is beyond delicious, and I can get a wholesome, humanely raised, paleoish/primal/keto meal anytime I would like. AND hubs is obsessed. And is Wubbas. So it’s like a “healthy” restaurant my hubs can enjoy, too. NOT always the case.

burger lounge

Their beef is grass-fed, their turkey is free-range, they use local produce and based their restaurant truly on the real food movement. What is NOT to love? I can go and get an amazing lettuce wrapped Turkey burger with pickles, and hubs can get fries, a shake, whatever and enjoy his life. Heaven for us both.

Anyhooters, my friends at Burger Lounge are giving away two $20 gift cards, to be selected at random with a #butterbooty Instagram check-in:

1. Post a photo of you doing something amazing for yourself be it completing a #butterbooty workout, eating something delightful (and a touch healthy), walking, resting, whatever and tag @eatcleanpissglitter + @burgerlounge + #butterbooty.

2. Winner will be selected at random on Friday at 7pm PST.

Alright #butterbooty lovers? Get after it!

x to the ohhhh, Whitters

PS If you have not joined our Facebook group and want in on the challenge, DO IT!   Never too late to work on that donk.

Coffee Alternative: Dandy Blend = Lifesaver.

Watch out y’alls, kickass life update ahead. Insert duckface selfie here.

workout girl

I feel so much better. My skin is so much better, my body temperature is getting back to normal (it was reallly low, which can be a thryoid signal of trouble), my cycles are getting back on track. I really should have no reason to complain, but let me just give you one.

I miss coffee.

Yesterday, I needed a lifeline badly. I took to the Facebook machine and y’all delivered by recommending Dandy Blend, a product I was already considering tracking down that very day. I recently gave up coffee, for multiple reasons, but mostly in part of a bigger effort to deal with a flare up. My body attacks itself. Killer. The struggle is real. (Read my story hurrr.)

Food is medicine.

For good or bad, food is medicine. In just a few short weeks of getting rid of coffee, dairy, focusing on sleep and getting more nutrients in my body, I already feel and see a difference. My body is not holding onto the puffiness it likes midst flare ups, my skin is almost all clear (will post a huge before and after, plus my skin regimen soon), and my mood is mo bettah like.

Fact. Eat more nutrients. Avoid shit you cannot digest. Health and happiness.

So I am officially obsessed with Dandy Blend. I had my first cup yesterday afternoon, and I immediately felt like I had a cup of joe. Without the bitterness, which is cool. And, I feel like whenever I drink herbal tea I just feel weirdly uplifted. Like I know in my bones I am doing something good for myself?

oitnb gif

Dandy Deets

Dandelion is one of the top six most used herbs in all of Traditional Chinese Medicine, and is most frequently used to heal the liver. This is SUPER important for anyone struggling with hormonal issues. Such as I. Dandelion root helps to clear excess hormone buildup from the liver. (source)

Dandelion is rich in micronutrients such as copper, cobalt, zinc, boron, and molybdenum, as well as Vitamin D. (source)

Dandy blend tastes like coffee and makes my goddam heart warm (source = myself). You can find it here.

dandy blend coffee alternativedandy blend coffee alternativeDandy Little Mocha

  • 8 ounces hot water
  • 1-2 teaspoons dandy blend (I like it on the heavier side, since I effing love coffee)
  • 1 teaspoon of carob or unsweetened cocoa powder (carob if you are avoiding nightshades)
  • 2 ounces of coconut milk (optional) this is my favorite brand because it is BPA free and is just coconut and water, no nothing else’s.
  • 1 teaspoon of maca powder (optional)
  • 1 tablespoon of coconut oil or MCT oil (optional)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of raw honey (optional)
  • 1 shake of sea salt
  • Lots of shakes of cinnamon
  • Blend. Enjoy.

I hope you are having a kickass week. Dandy on yo.

x to the ohhh Whitters 

Easy. Healthy. Dessert. Proyo Recipe.

proyo recipe

Holy delightful #proyo batman.
1/2 cup organic full fat Greek yogurt
1 scoop of @source_organic whey
1 teaspoon flaxseed meal
2 teaspoons cocoa powder

skinnytips: Skinny mini cinnamony yogurt recipe

This gallery contains 1 photo.

Stupid easy delights. 1/2 cup full fat organic yogurt (my fave is Strauss creamery) + 1-2 teaspoons of cinnamon or more + a shake or two of sea salt. Blend enjoy. Cinnamon makes her taste like sugared cinnamon buttery buns. Bonus: yogurt gives you a good dose of probiotics for your gut, cinnamon helps you burn chub rub. #cleandessert #cheatclean #yogurt #probiotics #eatcleanpissglitter

Get Yo (Roasted) Veggies!

Hello lover.

roasted veggies

How’s about some delicious and organic veggies and tofu. 5 minute prep. 20 minutes baked. DONE.  

  • 1/2 cup of broccoli 
  • 1/2 cup of cauliflower
  • 1 roma tomato
  • 1/4 cup of tofu
  • 1 king trumpet mushroom (or 1/2 cup of diced mushrooms)
  • 1 tbsp of balsamic
  • 1 tbsp of olive oil
  • 1 mini red pepper
  • 1 tsp of curry powder
  • Pepper and sea salt to taste
  • Bake 350 degrees for 20 minutes

They say you want to have as MANY colours on your plate as possible to get as MANY nutrients as possible from your diet. So throw it all in there and enjoy. Eat clean. Piss glitter.

BeezyBody JUICE of the Day


What you need, what what you need:

  • 1 small beet
  • 1 large carrot
  • 2 small cucumbers
  • thumb size ginger
  • 2 big handfuls of kale
  • 1 green apple
  • 1 cup spinach

#Shred in juicer and enjoy!

All the vegetables are from the Fort Mason Farmers’ Market in San Francisco. We grabbed our goods from SerendipityHappy Boy, and Swank Farms. 

**Disclaimer: First time beet juicers beware. Less is more. Ease into beets. Trust.**





For details on a Farmers’ Market near you visit:

Pre-Workout eNReGy. Post-Workout Whey.

There is one thing beezies love a lot in the morning before our workout and it is NRG Matrix.

Pre Workout NRG

NRG Matrix is a powerful blend of 8 medicinal mushrooms with antioxidant and organic botanicals that give you energy, helps you focus, gives you an immune boost ANNDD helps you recover. HOLLER. Super Food Energy Drink.

OBSESSED is the word you are looking here.

It does not taste like mushrooms, it actually tastes a bit like tang. And we beezies most love our NRG mixed with green tea. So we just brewed a whole weeks worth of green tea to store in the fridge and shake up with our NRG matrix in the morning.

Green Tea + NRG Matrix = vitamins, minerals, recovery, energy, immune support, curbs your appetite, helps blood pressure you name it. Way mo bettah than your coffee or 5 hour.

Post Workout Whey to Recover

Now post workout is like a trip to Dairy Queen in our book. Behold the chocolate-y coconut-y healthy fats goodness of this recovery shake.

Choco-Coco Shake it my Whey

NOW go kick today’s ass beez!