About this Blonde
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Green Beauty Hacks
If there is one thing I have noticed about myself in the past few months it is that I am incredibly passionate about green beauty. Green beauty kind of goes hand in hand with eating well, taking care of your body, feeling wonderful inside and out, oh and giving a shit about the planet.
- Obsession with Activated Charcoal
- DIY Face Mask to Remove Dark Spots
- The Best and Cheapest Face Mask of all the Land
Here’s the thing that I discovered on my path to green beauty which is ever evolving; green beauty products are difficult to find and you will spend a ton of money finding effective products if you do not have recommendations to go off of.
Fact. I have tried cleansing my face with only coconut oil and apple cider vinegar, BLEGH, made my own body whips, made countless masks, and gone weeks without makeup in the name of clear and radiant skin. Essentially I have bio-hacked my face in the realm of being green. So today I thought I would share with you my very favorite green beauty hacks. Because there is simply no greater accessory than beautiful skin. (That sounded WAY less lame in my head though.) And there is nothing less glamorous than trying a DIY face mask that stains your skin and gives you a rash. YEEEE! BEEN THERE. Allow me to save you some agony.
Two disclaimers before diving in:
Numero uno – I have good skin genes. My mom has great skin AND she taught me how to have great skin. My brother on the other hand suffered from some wicked acne! So gene expression, luck, who the F knows. What I do know is that my half Swedish/Norwegian and half mutt gene pool gave me some nice skin. But, it is incredibly, incredibly sensitive. IE I will get hives if someone washes my clothes in Tide. I basically need Baby Detergent. Oh, and this is my favorite detergent of all time, if you give a shit. It is literally the best smelling detergent ever in the history of man without being full of crap.
Numero dos – Anything I link to on this page I will receive an itty bitty buy me cappuccino in 5 years type of commission with. And, I did get into bed with one company in particular I really believe in, but more on that later. Please know, that I am super super selective with the companies that I work with. I have turned down many brands that wanted to pay me for content, simply because I would personally never consume their products. SO, anything I point you to, I actually use, would use or would give to my family.
My Top Green Beauty Hacks
Wash your face every night before bed
My mom told me once that your skin ages 20 days for every night you go to bed without washing your face. I have no idea how accurate this is, but I have washed my face AND flossed my teeth, may I add, every night before going to sleep since about age 12 I want to say…
Old Wives Tale: Warm your face up with warm water to open the pores, wash and get the shit out, and then rinse with COLD water to close the pores back up. My college softball coach’s momma taught me this one, and at 80 something, this gorgeous woman had GORGEOUS skin. So, that’s how I wash my face every single day.
Exfoliate at least once a week
This one is totally new for me and I really, REALLY think it has made a difference in my skin in the last year I would say. You could buy a scrub to do this, you could make a scrub, you could use a hand towel. You just really want to get rid of dirt and old skin as much as possible so your skin renews itself. (<< Holy shit, does L’oreal need any copywriters? I sound like an advertisement.)
Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. If you want soft supple skin, lather yourself in toxin, chemical free moisturizer. For a really long time I only used coconut oil. Now, I use Weleda and beautycounter as my daily moisturizers, and I am feeling supple my friend. Supple.
Oh and moisturize your decolletage. Your decolletage is basically your neck down to your chest. DO it. Fun fact: I once wrote all site content for a major pharmaceutical grade skincare line, and you would not BELIEVE how much money they make off of their decolletage products. Everyone neglects it.
Beauty Tip: Add moisture to your skin BEFORE you moisturize. I like to spray my face with some sort of hydrating flower water, like rose, lavender or jasmine water, and then I add the moisturizer. It just really helps you sop up the delightfulness.
Less is more
Wear less makeup. I really do not understand the contouring game. I could not do it if I tried. I legit watched about five how-to do a cat eye vids on the YouTube before finding a trick I can actually master. And by master I mean I do it when I wear eyeliner which is not often. And by not often I mean once a month-ish?
The more makeup you wear particularly if it is full of chemicals and crap, the more your skin will suffer. It just will. I love natural beauty, play that up. You know who else does? Every man I have ever met. I will ask my best friend the lesbian what her opinion is here, too. (<< Fact: Lipstick Lesbians have the best nicknames in my opinion. I am sure it can be considered offensive, but if I were gay and someone were to be like oh yeah, Whitney, she’s a Lipstick Lesbian, for sure, I would be like yeah I dig that.)
The only makeup I wear basically everyday is this
- Tinted Moisturizer (beautycounter) or BB Cream (pacifica but the coverage is not as good)
- Mascara (pacifica, but I need a new one, I don’t love it)
- Blush (inika)
- Eyebrow (beautycounter)
- Lip balm (coconut oil and I am obsessed with Trader Joe’s peppermint one they made)
If I have a business encounter or a date, I will add foundation, MAYBE concealer, lipstick and POSSIBLY liquid eyeliner but no promises.
Experiment with masks
When my skin needs some love, I love to make my own masks. Masks are like my former secret singles behavior that I now just shamelessly rock at home in front of the hubs. I think they are effective, but they will not be a solution if the rest of your beauty game is crap.
My favorite masks are these:
Start thinking Inside Out
If you eat like shit, your skin will look like shit. There actually is no way around this. BUT, I will say, up your consumption of fermented foods and bone broth if you can hack it. Why broth? Bone broth contains collagen which creams like to tout, but it’s a pretty dirty rumor that your body cannot absorb collagen topically. Why fermented foods? Probiotics. Probiotics are amazing for the bacteria that haunts your skin.
Now the only problem I have in self-experimentation is that I do not control for variables. So in the last three years or so I have really gone really green in my beauty products, and in the last 6 months I have REALLY upped my consumption of fermented foods and tonics. Like my beloved beet kvass which I have every single day, twice a day. My skin has never been better. Neither has my waistline, YEAAOOW!!
Find brands you love and support them
Dude. There are some bad green brands out there, meaning you could end up looking like a drag queen who just took the first stab at doing her own makeup, not yet a Geish, without a dragmother, and who does not know the first rule about cooking her makeup. Translation = you is gonna look busted.
So, I have had some great brands and some bad, bad ones. The brands I love are
- Pacifica BB Cream Lipstick
- Bare Minerals liquid foundation (mixed reviews on their greenness and ethics, I have heard)
- Inika (Concealer, Blush and Mineral Powder for a super night out)
- And finally, the brand I am in bed with: beautycounter.
A while ago a friend of a friend gave me a little sample of beauty counter and I was instantly drawn in by their packaging. Flawless. Ingredients. Flawless. Conscious. Having been asked to try Nerium a million times and HATING the chemicals they use and knowing about 16 million people who sell beach body, I was really reluctant to even try the product. I was like, blegghhhh I already have a jar of coconut oil, essential oils, yogurt, and a few hippy brands I love, I don’t need shit! But, then I tried it, fell in love. Ran out of my sample pack and decided I needed more and needed to share it with the world. So, now I guess I am a consultant, meaning yes, you can buy this shit from me. But I would prefer to call myself a green beauty hustler, so that is the title I am going to give myself.
- Tinted Moisturizer
- Lipstick in nude
- All facial care products. Literally all of them. I will have them all.
And, onwards. Those are my hacks. Those are honestly my favorite brands. And if you have a favorite mascara can you let a girl know because I have yet to find THE one.
P.S. If you give a shit about eating organic real food, you should start giving a shit about using real beauty products on the largest organ of your entire body. (Chelsea, the self-proclaimed hypocritical hippie, I am looking at you, bitch. Put down the Chanel, and walk away, slowly.)
x to the ohhh,
You may remember the lovely Carley of Oh Baby Nutrition from my previous post of her. If not, take a gander, she is amazing. I love literally anything she touches because she does so with knowledge, compassion and beauty. Beauty in that everything she creates is really well done AND thoughtful. So, I have been STALKING her for the release of Baby Knows Best (an intro to first foods), and it is FINALLY HERE.
Here’s the thing, I received it in my inbox today, already read through everything and watched the video, and again I am SO impressed. Carley, you have my heart.
And, you should know I am not receiving any type of compensation for this post. She gracefully gifted me the guide and is so kindly offering all of my readers.
- Super easy to read
- Beautiful to look at
- Her voice is wonderful and soothing on the video
- The 40-minute video explains SO SO much and so well done
- An amazing place for ANYONE to start regardless of your food knowledge, beliefs, etc.
- She makes you feel like you are simply evolving your baby, and not shaming you for whatever you may have previously believed
- She makes a SUPER compelling case for baby led food weaning
What I want more of
- All of her recipes
- One on one time with her (I want to be her real life friend. If I lived in Vancouver, I would just sit at her house and raid her fridge.)
What is it? Exactly as it sounds, the baby is in charge of eating food as he/she is ready. Baby eats what you eat, basically. You want to avoid purees and allow the baby to eat a mixture of soft finger foods. ALL OF WHICH, Carlie explains beautifully in her guide. We do actually do some purees with Teddy bear, but for the most part, he eats what I eat.
“In short, Baby Led Weaning (BLW) is skipping thin and runny purées and not feeding your baby with a spoon. Baby Led Weaning means offering your baby (age appropriate) foods that are soft-cooked and cut or mashed into small easily manageable pieces.” (source)
If you are pregnant, want to have babies, have a small baby who will soon be thinking of solids, you need this guide in your life. Purchase it, download it, save it and thank me later. I really, really, REALLY wish I had this when Wynston was born. We did not do the baby led food weaning way of eating, and he is the PICKIEST man you ever did meet. Teddy on the other hand is 8 months old and will eat basically anything, ANY GODDAM thing you put in front of him.
Carley is being super generous and gifting my readers 10% using the code “glitter” at checkout. Friend, her guide is worth it full price. And then some. Trust me, solid foods are more daunting than breastfeeding or even sleep training, when you are clueless. Get her guide.
x to the ohhh,
You know what really chaps my ass? When someone says I am SO lucky that I did not gain a ton of weight during pregnancy. Or that I am SO lucky that breastfeeding has gotten the baby weight off. While I realize genetics has a hand in how our bodies grow, change, react and adapt, I have some good genes, but mostly I WORK FOR MY BODY. And yes, my mom blessed me with a big booty, and a small waist. I used to hate my butt. Hate it. I used to loathe my itty bitty naturally skinny friends. And then I found a way to be happy, and embrace my curves. But here’s the thing, while I embrace my body whole heartedly, I also work MY ASS OFF to feel good in my body. Yes, I work my ass off to appreciate my ASS.
I swear this rant has a point, and the point is, I am not lucky. It is not a coincidence that I feel good seven months after having my second baby. I worked my ass off to feel that way. So, today I thought I would share with you the top reasons I was able to get back to my pre-baby body without luck, but with good old fashioned work ethic.
My Top Tips for Getting Your Body Back after BABY!
- I took care of myself and did not indulge while I was pregnant. Here’s the thing, I know women have cravings and this, that and the other thing, but when you eat real food, you crave the nutrients you and the babe really need. So, yes, I am being a super uber bitchy snob and this one, I did not use my pregnancy as a reason to overindulge, or say ahhhh I will lose the weight later. I just could not. I am sorry my loves, I am. I know you are preggers and you DO deserve that cookie, you do. (Read: What to Eat While You are Pregnant)
- I was patient and kind to myself. What I have learned in the past 10 years of what I consider “biohacking” my way to health is that there is no such thing as change over night. Hell, there really isn’t change over a month. It takes months and months to sustain the change you really, truly, deeply seek to SUSTAIN. So, I try to attack my diet and fitness with a kaizen like approach, small steps, small change overtime leading to big change. If you are not paying attention it seems like a drastic change occurs, but really, lots of small steps have been taken to achieve that BIG change we all seem to crave. (Read: Be Kind to Your Pregnant Body)
- I surrendered to the moments that overwhelmed me. It’s funny because a lot of my friends and family think I live in the gym. I don’t. And when I am there I workout for MAYBE 25 minutes. Maybe. And I am MAYBE there 4 times a week. MAYBE. I just do not have the time, nor the energy. And, you should NEVER force a workout. Surrender to what your body and small children need the most. Surrender. (Read: Surrender and Make Coconut Chicken)
- I moved when I was pregnant. I walked hills every single day. It kept me sane and in shape, I believe. I even created a prenatal workout program for myself, WHICH I hope to share soon! (Read: Walk and I don’t Feel Like Moving My Body At All)
- I rebuilt my body slowly, and what I believe to be smartly. When I was cleared to workout again, I went to the gym on average I would say 4 times a week, and completed 25 – 30 minute workouts. I was entirely focused on building strength from my core outwards. Meaning, I focused on building strength from the inside out, utilizing bodyweight workouts and eventually HIIT intervals and calisthenics. I chose movements that made me stabilize my core and activate the transverse abdominis muscle (I did a mini instagram blog post on this, check my feed for a plank.). Planks, ab roll outs and myoatic crunches are my jam. Let me tell you though, that first workout when I could do MAYBE one pushup from my knees was extremely humbling. I am still rebuilding strength seven months postpartum, and that is something we need to remember as new moms, our bodies went through a lot and will take time to rebuild and regain strength. That is OKAY. Don’t kill yourself on day one, week one of your postpartum workouts. This is the time you need to have the most patience and kindness for yourself. Again, surrender. (PS I do have a workout plan that is composed of the workouts I do, and I share my workouts on Instagram.)
- High quality meat, like we are talking the best most humanely raised meats as possible, if they are not possible I do not eat them. And, I eat meat maybe once or twice a week. MORE ON this topic later.
- Fermented foods every single day. Kombucha, sauerkraut, kefir and kvass Mostly from the Happy Pantry! I am convinced their beet kvass changed my life for the better. (An entire post is coming soon on THIS as well.)
- Raw dairy as much as I crave, I get mine from a food club which gets it from an Amish farm
- Veggies as much as I would like
- Fruit, not a ton but I eat what I like
- Protein pancakes, primal lactation and paleoish bacon cookies (coming soon)
Me and Teddy 6 months postpartum
That’s it. I eat real food. That is the #1 weapon. I eat foods my body can DIGEST and then use for energy and nutrients and avoids storing them as fat. For the most part. At the end of the day what matters the most in your food is quality, quantity and consistency. Do not ask me how many calories I eat in a day, because I have no clue. All I know is I eat the real food that I crave. Nothing is really out of bounds, but quality is super important to me.
So, those are the behaviors that got me back to where I want to be. While I would like to add some more muscle. I continue to be kind and patient with myself. The reality is, I have two small children, two-three-ish jobs and big dreams and not enough hours in the day. So I do what I can. But, I do not negotiate on feeding my family and myself the most real foods as possible, and I get myself to move. Not everyday, and not for hours on end. I move for minutes, and in those minutes I am focused. There’s really no secret, just the desire to maintain sanity. To me sanity is a healthy thriving body. Because I have simply felt what it is like to feel shitty in my skin, so feeling really good is a matter of emotional well being.
Be good and kind to you.
x to the ohh, Whitters
You have to let go of not being able to control how well they sleep, eat, poop, play, learn, whatever it is. You have to not compare yourself to other mothers and the fact that their child sleeps through the night. Fact: Once I let go of not trying any tricks to get Wynston to sleep through the night, his schedule naturally fell into doing so within days. Babies are smart, we just try to get in the way of their instincts so it fits our lives a little better. Anyway, I swear this has a point. In life, I constantly find the most freedom and growth by surrendering to whatever shit is going down.
For instance, my hubs has been traveling a ton for work. Which sucks, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Wubbas, my older boy is now understanding that his dad is not home, but he does not know why or for how long and it really, really frustrates him. He has been super needy and cuddly, which I love, but it hurts my heart to see him sad. He does not want to stay with babysitters, does not want to go to school, does not want me to leave him alone with Grandma, it’s tough. So the other day I had a babysitter come over so I could go to the gym, but Wyn was a mess and not having it so I ended up just staying home and getting work done with the babysitter here.
The whole day I felt sad that I missed my workout. But, I got to watch Lion King with my boys, I was able to prep a ton of food for us both which had seriously taken a back burner and we had fallen into convenience foods. That’s the other thing I have had to work at surrendering to: Feeding my boys. His birthday was last week so it was like a food dye – sugar party round here. Monday he woke up asking for birthday cake, because he just had had some the night before for Papa’s birthday. Luckily, I had stayed up late making him primal/paleoish pancakes that were full of goodness to thwart this exact scenario. I have been SO worried about his nutrients lately, is he eating enough good meats, getting enough fat, too much sugar. BLEHHHHH!!!! So finally, I just said fuck it. I am going to give him two options at each meal and he will eat or he will not. I will not fight him on it, just going to casually throw it in there. And. He. Is. Finally. Eating. New. Things. Andddd allllll of the chicken and sweet potatoes and butttttter. Again, he did not do what I wanted of him, until I surrendered, let it go a bit and let him feed himself.
This also meant, however, that I had to get my ass in the kitchen and make all of these foods for him. Which inevitiably takes time away from shit I would like to do like sweat, or read, or blog, or nap, or shower, or learn a new braid on the YouTube. (PS this tumblr is amazing for braids.)
But, this past week we have soaked all of our grains and nuts, made lots of sweet potatoes, roasted chickens and made lots of yummy WHOLESOME pancakes from scratch. And, we are both benefitting from it. I am eating better, he is eating better. I am losing weight, he is thriving. Oh, and I am breastfeeding so little Teddy is getting a leg up in life for SURE. AND I BACK THAT!!!!!!!!
While we both miss his dad, we are doing alright and he is gonna be home tonight!!!! We are making it work. We are eating good foods, sometimes going for a walk, and missing some workouts and I am totally off of my schedule. BUT, here’s the best part: My body needed to rest. I was going WAY WAY too much to the gym, because it was my escape from mommy-hood and I just so desperately want my body whipped into shape. I was not listening to my body nearly as much as I should. (I must shoutout to my good friend Ash here, queen bee of the #mamalove tribe who really brought this to my attention, more than once.)
So the extra days off have actually been a huge release! My body feels so good, is starting to lean out (probably because my overuse inflammation has gone down) and my workout this morning felt electric. Warning:I was fueled by shrooms. More on that later…
So I guess my point is this: There will be days you do not get to workout. You cannot go for a run. You ate a quesadilla because it was suddenly 4 o’clock, you were starving, and breastfeeding and it was either lard, cheese and tortilla or pass the fuck out. And it will all be okay. Surrender. Surrender. Surrender. There is always tomorrow, or fuck, next week. Live in today. Go watch a sunset.
x to the ohhh,
You guys! I have the best post for you today.
I have been
stalking following Carley of Oh Baby Nutrition for quite sometime now and I am obsessed with her beautiful spirit, and sheer knowledge when it comes to women’s health, really. But specifically focusing on the needs of momma and baby. You will all love her! She is SUCH a wealth of information so please check out her website and follow her on the insta-machine!
I really love her philosophy – we tend to have very similar ideals (EAT FAT) and agree on one very important thing, every person, every woman is so vastly different that there is no such thing as ONE perfect diet. I love that everything she does appears to be coated in love, and if I had found her maybe four or five years ago, I’d be on Skype with her everyday trying to figure out what I could do to live a better life and hopefully get myself knocked up.
Oh, and she’s Canadian, which makes her pretty amazing. She is likely the classiest most wonderful thing that has ever graced this blog!
So ENJOY! xo
Interview with Carley of Oh Baby Nutrition!
Can you give us just a quick bio and tell us how you came to be involved in such a wonderful area of health and wellness for females during their childbearing years?
I’m a Holistic Nutritionist and I specialize in naturally nourishing mama & baby through fertility, pregnancy & postpartum. The pregnancy and birth of my son deeply reinforced my devotion to help other women thrive during their childbearing years. Proper nutrition is essential for both mother and baby, but figuring out what that means can be very confusing. By combining the wisdom of traditional cultures with the findings of modern science, I hope to empower women with knowledge and confidence.
If you could give women who are trying to conceive just one piece of advice when it comes to the role nutrition and conception play, what would it be?
“Preparing your body nutritionally for conception is one of the most important things that you can do for your child’s future.”
The type of diet you have before and during your pregnancy directly influences your child’s lifelong susceptibility to disease, and even permanently affects their appetite, metabolism, intellect and temperament. By providing your body with highly nourishing foods, and avoiding those that reduce fertility, you can increase your ease of conception and give your baby the healthiest start possible.
All traditional cultures had sacred fertility foods and they went to great lengths to see that women were fed a highly nutritious diet prior to conception. They knew that this would result in babies with higher intellect and greater immunity, so they saw it as essential to the strength of their future tribe. This sacred wisdom isn’t passed down generation after generation like it was then.
What are your favorite pregnancy foods?
Every woman is different and her nutritional needs will be too. Each pregnancy comes with its unique set of cravings and aversions. Generally speaking though, during pregnancy I recommend lots of protein, healthy fats, traditionally fermented probiotic rich foods, water and bone broth throughout. My favourite nutrients to focus on for each trimester are:
1st trimester: Colourful vegetables and dark leafy greens for micronutrients and folate.
2nd trimester: Iron rich foods (like grass fed beef) to support blood volume expansion.
3rd trimester: Plant based calcium (like beet greens), vitamin D & omega 3 rich foods (like wild salmon) to support skeletal growth, brain development, and to help mama build her stores for breastfeeding.
Any books or resources you recommend for women looking to become pregnant or who currently are pregnant?
For birth: the classic, Ina May’s Guide To Childbirth (<<ME TOO, ME TOO!!), can’t be beat. It encourages women to trust in the ancient wisdom of their bodies during the birth process.
For nutrition: my favorite read is Beautiful Babies by Kristen Michaelis. It’s brilliant.
You mentioned on Instagram that saturated fats in particular are super important for a healthy pregnancy and delivery, can you elaborate on that?
Fat is so misunderstood in general, but saturated fat in particular. Healthy fat is one of the most nourishing things we can consume for our reproductive system. Too much unhealthy fat and/or not enough healthy fat is a leading cause of infertility. As a guide, stick with naturally saturated fats such as coconut oil, pasture raised butter or ghee. Monounsaturated fats like extra virgin olive oil, and avocado oil. Polyunsaturated Omega 3’s from fish. Steer clear of industrial seed oil and artificially saturated fats including “heart healthy” margarine and vegan butter spreads.
I was so moved by your birth story! Do you have any short winded advice for women embarking on a natural birth?
Thank you! I’d say…. Educate yourself. Educate yourself. Educate yourself. Choose a birth team that is aligned with your philosophies and who will advocate for you during the birthing process. Remember that your health care providers work for you! Ask questions like: are there any interventions, mediations or procedures that are standard protocol or mandatory in your practice? Or, in what situation is delayed cord clamping not possible? I switched providers half way through my pregnancy because I realized that my midwife’s governing body had certain restrictions that could get in the way being able to have the birth that I wanted. I chose to birth in my home with the support of a Traditional Birth Attendant and it was the single most empowering experience of my life.
Can we Americans work with you? If so, how can we get in touch with your programs?
Yes! I Skype with clients from all over the world. I also have a very exciting launch coming up next month to nourish fertility, pregnancy and postpartum women… The Mama Cleanse: 10 days to reclaim your health. Think less deprived detox and more giving your eating habits the old clean sweep.
Any parting words you wish every woman in her childbearing years could know?
My very favorite quote from the one & only, Ina May Gaskin,
“Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.”
Wow. I loveeee that so much, and I too am in love with Ina May Gaskin!
Thank you so much to the beautiful Carley Mendes, it’s an honor to have you here sharing your light.
x to the ohhh,
Did I say cocaine? I meant jet fuel. Or, just like a crap ton of energy. I talk about keto quite a bit on instagram, but I wanted to share exactly what it feels like to be keto adapted, because it makes me want to shout from the rooftops:
BITCH I AM ALIVE AND HERE TO CONQUERRRRRRRR!!!!!
Yeah, I know that was a bit much. But seriously, keto is my jam. Not only because it burns the fat right off my body, but because the energy I get from being in this metabolic state is unreal. So let’s dig in. (BUT, remember I did a HUGE post on why KETO is amazing for fat loss, here.)
Terms to know (feel free to skip ahead if science and learning is not your shtick.)
What is a keto diet?
Keto is a way of eating which aims to induce nutritional ketosis (a metabolic state where you burn fats instead of sugar) by restricting carbohydrate intake and balancing daily amounts of fat and protein.
A Ketogenic diet is NOT a high protein diet It is a high fat, low carb moderate protein diet.
Keto adapted means:
- You can oxidize and use both dietary and stored fat for energy. Fat is now more likely to be used for energy than stored in fat cells.
- You are not dependent on Insulin and the presence of Glucose for energy. This means that your blood sugar levels will not go up and down like a roller-coaster but will remain even. << This is MONEY. This means your body is not being fooled by Insulin, and you will likely absorb nutrients more efficiently, burn fat more efficiently and just FEEL BETTER.
- Even blood glucose and large amounts of energy resources available (pounds of fatty acids vs minimal grams of glycogen) mean no hunger and no reactive hypoglycemia! (TRUST. YOU WANT TO BURN THE FATTY ACIDS.)
- You will be able to exercise in a fasted state. (You do not need to eat before a workout, you will be just fine.)
- You will be able to go long periods without eating and still feel great, reducing your dependence on readily available processed foods. (I find I really only need like two meals a day, and a fat bomb or two.)
- You will become Leptin Sensitive again! (A high carb diet leads to resistance to the satiety hormone Leptin, causing to never experience a feeling of having eaten enough. Leptin not working correctly in your body = fat gain.)
- A ketogenic diet has shown to improve triglyceride levels and cholesterol levels most associated with arterial buildup. Meaning, you eat bacon and your cholesterol actually improves. Yeah. I KNOW!
But, BUTT, BUTTTTT! I cannot stress enough, the quality of foods and MEAT you eat are so so important. Don’t just head to McDonald’s and ask them to lettuce wrap that shit for a month. Eat meat and dairy from HEALTHY HAPPY ANIMALS for a HEALTHY HAPPY YOU.
Nutritional Ketosis VS Ketoacidosis:
When a type 1 diabetic suffers a stressful event or fails to administer enough insulin they may suffer the pathological condition ketoacidosis. Liver cells increase metabolism of fatty acids into ketones in an attempt to supply energy to peripheral cells, which are unable to transport glucose in the absence of insulin. The resulting very high levels of blood glucose and ketone bodies lower the pH of the blood and trigger the kidneys to attempt to excrete the glucose and ketones. Osmotic diuresis of glucose will cause further removal of water and electrolytes from the blood resulting in potentially fatal dehydration, tachycardia and hypotension.
If you want to learn more about keto and really nerd yourself out, read this FAQ from the Nourished Caveman
Why I Love being Keto Adapted
Feel educated enough to move on? Great. So I just had a baby six weeks ago, started eating a keto diet two weeks ago and became fully keto adapted I would say like after a week and a half. I got myself into ketosis on day four of the new diet, but really did not start feeling the energy, the weight loss, the mental clarity until a few days ago. This is where the keto money is made. Energy + alertness. It really is difficult to explain if you’ve never been there. I have only smoked the marihoochi in my life, no other drugs, but I imagine maybe a drug would give you this enlightened state of awareness and the need to move.
I saw my good friend Gina at the gym the other day, and I think she thought I was batshit crazy. I was literally bouncing off the walls AFTER my ridiculously difficult and sweaty workout talking to her. She is also seven months pregnant, so probably could have scissor kicked me in the face for my energy. I love her.
The point is: keto makes me feel the very best. I eat well 355 days a year, give or take, but when my body is using fat for energy instead of sugar, my life just feels so good. I feel leaner (which let’s be honest, we bitches wanna feel lean), I feel like I can workout even more intensely, and I enjoy all of my food. Fat is delicious. Bacon? Butter? Greens? Repeat? Shut the fuck up. In! (Insert blonde girl hair flip emoji)
That is basically all I got for you today… make these fat bombs and eat all of the things.
Things that help me get into ketosis
Treats and this ice cream that I make!
Ketostix – I have had a lot of trouble finding these in drug stores lately, so I get them from my favorite, Amazon. PS Once you become keto adapted, the presence of ketone bodies in your urine becomes less and less, so eventually they may not work even a little bit.
x to the ohhhh,
I loved reading birth stories during my pregnancy with Teddy. With Wynston, I was clueless. Stupid and clueless. I did not want to know how he came out, I was going to have drugs so it really did not matter. Wynston’s birth experience was by no means terrible, it just felt so clinical looking back on it. It was not about him and I, it was about starting the birth process, accelerating it and getting him out. With Teddy, I knew I wanted it to be more special. I wanted him to be born free of any medication and I wanted to feel the rush of my own hormones as they laid him on my chest for the first time. Boy did I ever. Sure, before he arrived, things got primal. Primal as fuck, are the words my best friend Savannah and I use to describe the labor and delivery of little Teddy. But once he was out, the love and admiration I had for him was out of this world. You really cannot put it into words, that was primal too, but of the happy kind.
Teddy’s birth story really started the night before. The full moon was approaching, and for some hippy reason I knew he would be born the next night, once the full moon had fully appeared. That day Wynston and I went to brunch at our favorite little cafe where he gets a butter croissant and I get a side of bacon and a dry cappuccino. I laid out while he napped, I cleaned the house and had just a wonderful day. That evening when Alex got home I started to not feel too great, not terrible, but just kind of queasy, headache and tired. We had already had a couple false labor alarms so I really had no desire to say anything until shit got real. Then I suddenly had a burst of energy and decided to dance with my Wubbas to “Shake it Out” by Florence + the Machine, it literally started raining as we danced, and I am pretty sure this got Teddy out. Wynston loved dancing with me in my last few weeks of pregnancy. Such sweet little moments together. This is the video of us dancing together. It’s out of focus, but still amazing. Literally my heart melts a little more every time I watch this.
After dinner, I started having the breathless contractions I had had for weeks, we watched some TV and around 10pm I thought I should just go to bed. By 10:30, the contractions started to get painful. Not unbearable just painful enough where I could not sleep or lay down, so I went outside for about 30 minutes and just walked back and forth under the full moon. We swayed, we danced, we walked and then I went inside to tell Alex shit was real (Teddy and I were the we…). At this point I was trying to decide if I should text my friend Savannah, who agreed to be my doula since the ones I interviewed were just not my style.
She is SUCH an amazing friend, she researched her role extensively, knew my birth plan and made it her mission to keep me on track (more on that later…bitch got real on me.) I text her to see if she was awake, and she’s always awake so we were good. I told her things might be getting real and I was going to get into the shower. After the shower, I was in pain every 3 minutes and knew it was time to call my mom and dad so someone could come and stay with Wynston. Savannah came over to wait for my dad and brother, so Alex and I headed to the hospital. First I made him stop at 7-11 to get me a chocolate coconut water, since I knew I was in for a long night and those things are so effing delicious with at least a good dose of electrolytes. It turned out to be the ONLY thing I wanted in labor. No food, no water, just chocolate coconut water. (I still want them constantly by the way.)
As we were on the freeway I really did not understand why Alex was going so slow (probably about 75), and these contractions were really painful, but I was able to breathe through them. I was not able to communicate to Alex how annoyed I was that it felt like we were being passed by the empty cars on the road. We finally made it to the hospital around 1:30am and they got me into a triage room to see where I was at. I met my nurse (who I never became a fan of) and she sent us walking for an hour because I was only at about 2-3 centimeters.
This hour sucked. I was trying everything in the waiting room, and on the teeny tiny patio to get comfortable and was just miserable. My dad almost lost his right eye when in the middle of a contraction, he tried to show the tree i was dangling from (hubs) a YouTube video. He clearly had not read any of the books that said do not distract the woman while she is coping with a contraction. I love my dad, but at this moment, he almost died.
After moaning around the ridiculously uncomfortable waiting room, I needed a bed. So we went back to my little tiny bed and I laid on my side to get through the contractions for a bit.
And then. My midwife came in. Andrea. Andrea is an angel. It’s like she knew I was there to birth a small child, where as my nurse thought I had a stomach ache. Andrea went over my birth plan with me and was totally on board to keep things natural and to help me go that route. She was a dream and I instantly felt better knowing she would deliver me. She checked me and I was at about 4 centimeters and ready for a room.
We finally got into my room, no idea what time it was at this point, all I know is it took them about an hour, two nurses and four holes to get the IV in my hand. That was really fun to labor through.
Then. Shit. Got. Real. (If you are squeamish, stop reading now.)
I remember moments of my labor vividly, like laying on my side with a death grip on the side of the bed trying to breathe through a contraction. Or my nurse pressing the heart rate monitor against my belly mid contraction and me literally having to scream and restrain myself from not scissor kicking her in the face. I tried being on all fours. Nope, absolutely not, that little man would have shot out of my ass, I knew it. Or my friend tickling my head and it just feeling like Heaven. Or my husband just standing there like a tree as I dangled on him through contractions. And my mom squeezing my hand and throwing my mala beads on me while I was pushing.
This labor was intense. I definitely went a little into panic mode because I just did not know how much longer this would go on, and how much more I could take. I kept asking my little team for drugs, to which they ignored because I never threw out the safe word. Looking back, I think just the idea of having an epidural helped me cope with contractions because it was a naughty little treat I COULD have if I really really wanted to. I was like a crack addict asking my friends for the goods. When I finally felt like, fuck this shit, I am so done, I am going to die, I dropped the safe words. PS when you get to this point, you are likely in transition, so HANG THE FUCK ON!
I first asked my husband if he thought I was a loser if I got an epidural, and he said something like, “I don’t think you need it, you can do this, but it’s okay if you want it.” Then I looked to Savannah, my ride or die bitch, and I said our safe word, “Peanut butter, friend. I give up. Do you think I can get drugs?” To which my rockstar friend replied, “Well, that’s not what we’re here to do, but you can do whatever you want!” Then she went on to reassure me that I was likely in a ton of pain and giving up because my body was getting really, really close and just made a ton of progress. Holy shit this is exactly what I needed to hear, and exactly why she was my doula. And my best friend. And my sister.
I think I got back into bed at this point, laid on my side and my body started pushing the baby down during each contraction. So Savannah ran to get the nurse because it felt like that baby was about to come out. The midwife came in and I told her I was scared and wanted a little numbing, and she said something like any drugs would affect the baby, so we could do an epidural. But the way she said it also reassured me that it wasn’t the right thing to do, and I would be fine. She checked me and I think I was at an 8. And she never left my side from this point on until the baby was born. She made me sit on the toilet to open my pelvis through three contractions and she had her hands on my legs, coached my breathing and just was so wonderful. She kept telling me how beautifully I was laboring and that baby was coming out very soon. When she told me that she got off in a half hour and that she wanted to meet this baby, that must’ve opened my cervix the rest of the way because within minutes I was ready to push.
I got back into bed and this is where things really got primal as fuck. Pushing was a relief, but it was also SO incredibly taxing and painful. Enough so that my midwife said to me, “Now I know it probably feels really good to scream, but try channeling that energy into your push.” So I zipped up my mouth and did just that. I don’t remember how long I pushed, all I knew is that I felt everything from his head, to her hand pulling and turning him and suddenly she said, “Okay, here grab your baby!” What? It’s out?
Oh my god, hi baby, hi hi hi I LOVE YOU!!! OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH! HI BABY!!!!!
Best moment of my life I think. I was SO happy, and I actually felt my body and soul just need that small little nugget. He was finally home on my chest. We survived.
I could not have done this without my husband, my mom and my best friend. They all served different roles in Teddy’s delivery but I needed each of them. I am so thankful to have been blessed with such an amazing midwife as well. She just really helped me get the birth I really, really wanted and I am so thankful. THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU.
If I were to do it all again, which I do not plan on doing, I would maybe have a home birth or at a small birthing center with a tub, I just could not get comfortable in the hospital and really surrender to my contractions the way I wanted to. But then again, I would not have had the amazing Andrea, so who knows!
Happy Two Week Birthday Teddy, Mommy loves you!!
Enjoy these photos shot by my Wonder Woman, Savannah Rose.
For the past almost year and a half I have been a somewhat of stay at home mom, who works part time in the evenings, misses dinners and bath time sometimes, but has all day with her little one. Now this may sound like a dream to some moms, and it is, but it is also overwhelming. I feel as though I work a full shift with a toddler and then head to my “real job”. Get home late, stuff my face and head to bed. I am tired most of the time but am grateful to enjoy my work AND being a mom.
So what gives? It is really difficult for me to be home all day. Stay at home moms know, you fill your day with trying to find classes, sing-a-longs, playtimes, story times, park visits and whatever semi-free activities your little one will enjoy. But I am not like most moms. Mommy and me groups are not really for me. It is tough for me to connect to other women sometimes, particularly in an era of motherhood that feels extremely hovering, judgmental and competitive. Consider this: I go to the playground and some little kid steals a toy from my Wubbas. I respond by ignoring it and allowing Wyn to work it out himself. Most other parents (maybe it is my hipster neighborhood) intervene right away and use the moment to tell their kid, no no no we share, say you’re sorry, or here take this toy instead and go walk away. I am not saying my response or their response is the right response, we just have different styles. But then when my kid steals the toy back and I say nothing, the stink eye arises and the parent again intervenes to try to get their kid to play with something else. They usually scoff away. I don’t need their judgment. I am lucky my kid is bathed, fed and dressed today. We are just here to enjoy some vitamin D, and I feel like kids need to figure it out. So my solution is to avoid said park, and we spend our days in my backyard. Not the right solution.
My point is, parenting is tough. Being home with your little one is tough. Being around other parents with agendas and opinions is the worst of all. In a time where all I want is adult conversation and interaction, I find myself hibernating just to avoid some of the crazy. I am sure there are like minded really awesome moms out there, too, I just guess I need to do a better job looking for them.
And, I really miss working full time. My career used to give me so much joy and a sense of self. I think I might be feeling a little bit of a creative void, too, since my book is finished and I am working on other stuff that is way less intense. I feel like mentally however, I am just not as stimulated as I was when I was working full time. I miss that. And yet I battle two evils of guilt. On the one hand, I love being home with my son. He has been sick all week and I cannot imagine someone else taking care of him when he monkey wraps his legs around me and won’t let go, not even for daddy when he does not feel well. I am so lucky to be with him. How could I give that up? Do I give that up in finding a more permanent career? Where’s the balance? Do most employers understand that when your child is sick, you have a judgement free pass to do what you need to do?
I then think to myself, what if I am having a little girl? I never want her to believe that she has to work as hard as she can until she has a baby, then she has to figure out how to stay home, or work part time. I want her to take on the world and find her happiness wherever it may lie. So why can’t I have the same compassion for myself?
“It’s time that we stop treating child care as a side issue or a ‘women’s issue.’ This is a family issue. This is a national economic priority for all of us.” – President Obama
I have no idea what the answer is. In this next season of my life I want to find a way to take care of my family and myself. Being a mom, working or home, is the toughest job in the world. It’s also the most rewarding. But I am wondering, what does the mom-life-work balance look like and how do I get there? Maybe Mr. Obama has a solution for us mothers. I literally started crying as he discussed child care during his address the other night…
Welp, that’s enough ranting for today! I’d love to hear your thoughts!
x to the ohhhh Whitters