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Primal Lactation Cookies: low carb – high fat – paleoish – primal – WAPF

Milk My Bitties! – Primal Lactation Cookies

I love cookies. Like, I love cookies. But who the eff doesn’t? The thing is, living this whole low carb, low sugar, grain free life makes cookie loving rather difficult. I have experimented with cookie and baked good recipes extensively over the past five years. I have succeeded, and I have FAILED. Like, really really failed in my attempt to combine baking with health/my idea of eating healthy. The difficult part is, I personally have developed a palate that really does not like as much sugar, so my idea of a yummy cookie is a far cry from that of my hubs’. So when I bake things for others, he has to taste them, because he USUALLY spits my creations out.

lactation cookies

So anyways, the rant is basically to tell you that THESE cookies are really, really good and really really FILLED with nutrients that nursing mamas need. Like GOOD fats and FIBER and chocolate.

I kept them LOW SUGAR LOW CARB, but you could easily add more maple syrup, or coconut sugar to suit your own palette. You could cut the almond flour in half and replace with coconut flour instead. The combinations to add flavors are endless. This is my gift to nursing moms and moms to be who want to be primal/paleoish and low carb (or not… really!) I’ve tried adding strawberries (delightful) dried apricots (yummmm) and yeah all are delightful. SO ENJOY!!

And shit, moms, new moms especially deserve a goddam cookies. #nomnomnom

x to the ohhhh, Whitters

primal lactation cookies

Ingredients (makes about 18 cookies)

  • 3 eggs
  • 1/2 cup flaxseed meal
  • 1/2 cup almond flour or meal
  • 1/4 cup hemp seeds (optional, I added for protein) 
  • 1/4 cup brewers yeast
  • 1/2 cup coconut oil or grassfed butter, melted (prefer actually a 1/4 cup of each)
  • 1/2 cup coconut butter (I replaced this with almond butter and peanut butter in different batches, both were delightful!)
  • 2 tablespoons gelatin bloomed in water (optional but SO good for you)
  • 1/4 cup coconut sugar (could replace with 3 tablespoons of maple syrup, or add more coconut sugar to make them sweeter, this is to keep them low sugar / low carb)(I made these for a friend with 1/4 cup of maple syrup and they were really good, and SHE eats sugar.)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt
  • 1/4 cup favorite chocolate chips (I like Lily’s sweetened with Stevia)
low carb lactation cookies
1.  In a small bowl combine the flaxseed meal, almond flour, coconut sugar, sea salt and brewers yeast.  Mix to combine.
2.  Melt your coconut oil or butter in a small pan.
3.  Mix the vanilla into the coconut oil or butter and eggs.
4.  Pour the wet into the dry ingredients bowl.
5.  Mix to combine.
6.  Add the chocolate chips last and mix it all up.
7.  Bake at 350 for 12 minutes. Keep refridgerated and try not to eat them all in two days. GUILTY
I promise, these cookies help my milks which helps my little Teddy bear. xo
P.S. Have you tried my pregnancy anti-nausea cookies? xo
sleep like a baby

Best Recipes from my Instagram Machine

Do you follow me on the Insta? Well friends, I post A LOT of recipes on insta, alongside a slew of shameless selfies, so saddle up and follow a bitch.

Any hooters. Sometimes I get comments like, hey where is the recipe, where is that, how are babies made? To which I reply, well I don’t, I don’t actually reply at all. Instead I am posting my most recent and popular recipes as seen on insta, so you can enjoy.

Thanks kitten faces!

Primal Lactation Cookies

Those I actually posted on the blog.

lactation cookies


Firewater: Daily Detoxification and Breath of Fire


Firewater Detox Water

2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 lemon juiced
1/2 grapefruit juiced
2 cups sparkling water (could use regular this just makes it delightful)
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper or as much as you can handle
1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 tablespoon turmeric root powder
1 teaspoon of manuka or raw honey (optional, I omitted because of sugars)
1 huge handful of mint
Shake it up shake it up! Yummmmm.

Low Carb Almond Joy Squares

keto fat bombs

Primal Almond Joy Bars

3/4 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup of crunchy almond butter
1/4 cup cacao powder
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1 tsp of gelatin (optional)
1 tbsp of coconut sugar (optional, use sweetener of choice)
Melt everything over medium in a sauce pan, mix well and pour into silicone candy molds and freeze. You could also poor into cupcake liners and freeze as well!

Thin Mint Fat Bomb Shake

thin mint protein shake

Thin Mint Paleo Protein Shake

1 cup of coffee brewed and chilled
1-2 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1/2 scoop of cacao @paleo_pro
1 tbsp coconut butter
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
A few twists of sea salt (makes it caramel-y and salt is good for #keto folk)
1 raw pastured raised egg yolk
5 ice cubes

peanut butter coffee

Peanut Butter Bulletproof Coffee

(I know peanuts are banned under paleo, but a little here and there is fine.)
1 cup of coffee (chilled or hot I like it cold)
1 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1 raw pasture raised egg yolk
1 tbsp of coconut oil
1/2 scoop of @paleo_pro cacao
1 tbsp nut butter of choice, I used@pbpeanutbutter
1 tsp bee pollen (optional but so much energy!!!)
1 square of bakers chocolate
1 itty bitty drop of liquid stevia or sweetener of choice

Keto Bacon Strawberry Chocolate Chip Pancakes

keto pancake

🐷 2 tbsp flaxseed meal
🐷 2 eggs
🐷 2 tbsp sour cream (I like green valley organics the best)
🐷 1 strip of bacon already cooked and chopped up
🐷 1 tsp of #lilyschocolate dark chocolate chips (sweetened with stevia!)
💁🏼 All mixed up and fried in@ancientorganics ghee

Keto Donuts (recipe is actually right here)

primal paleo donuts


x to the ohhhh Whitters





Paleo Peach Blueberry Crumble!

My mission at Eat Clean. Piss Glitter. is to share workout tips, recipes and laughter for all of the busy folks of America and someday the world. I believe if healthy choices easily fit into your overbooked daily planner you are 113% more likely to stick to a healthier lifestyle. So the workouts and recipes I share take little time and prep. If you have 30 minutes to spare in your day, you have time for the workouts I share. If you can buy frozen veggies and fruit, then you can handle the recipes I create. Not to mention, a side of sarcasm and humor is complimentary with every blog post, so I hope you enjoy.

Paleo Peach Blueberry Crumble



  • 1 1/2 bags of organic frozen peaches or 6 peaches sliced
  • 1 bag of organic frozen blueberries or 2 cups fresh blueberries
  • 1/2 bag of organic frozen raspberries or 1 cup fresh raspberries
  • Juice of 1 lemon (if you don’t like tartness omit lemon)
  • 1 tablespoon of organic vanilla extract
  • 2 1/2 cups almond flour
  • 1/2 cup chopped hazelnuts (or pecans or cashews)
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened coconut flakes
  • 1 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 1/2 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/2 cup coconut oil melted
  • 2 tablespoons of organic raw honey melted

Step 1 – Allow frozen fruit to thaw for a bit so it’s workable maybe 20 minutes at room temp

Step 2 – Mix the berries and peaches with the lemon juice and vanilla


Step 3 – Put fruit mixture in a greased (I used coconut oil) 9 x 12 casserole pan


Step 4 – Melt your honey and coconut oil and mix with remaining dry ingredients.

Step 5 – Crumble the topping on top of your fruit mixture (I like to use my hands here to get it nice and even)


Step 6 – Bake at 375 for 45 minutes or until the fruit is a bubbling!


Step 7 – Try not to eat the entire pan in one sitting…


I leave you with this thought:

Life is just too short for us all to be a hybrid of Betty Crocker and Jillian Michaels, so work smarter not harder with your health and well being, and never turn down a piece of dark chocolate or paleo crumble, ever.

x to the ohhh



Pregnancy Anti-Nausea Nutrient Dense Ginger Chewy Cookies {grain free, primal, WAPF}

Whoa, so that was a mouthful of a title. Dude. I made these today for a recently knocked up friend of mine who feels like death on a stick. So good. I took a few recipes and made up my own so they are not perfect, but they are delightful. They are fairly low sugar, low carb, but not my usual keto low carb high fat-ness, so they actually taste really, really good.

The truth is, pregos and new mamas just deserve cookies. And these lovelies will make you feel better AND feel good about the fact that you are actually getting some wicked nutrition to your growing bump. Even if people ain’t gotta clue what’s under the hood. I hate those first few weeks of feeling like a marshmallow. Bahhh. Eat the cookie and tell everyone to eff off.

morning sickness cookies

These babies have a few of my favorite pregnancy things:

Ginger. A shit ton. And so good for that all day morning sickness crap.

Ghee. I am telling you, fat gets rid of the nausea. You want carbs, but I promise fat actually makes you feel better. AND lots of cultures have been using Ghee for years as a pregnancy super boost. Just eat the ghee.

Eggs. The perfect pregnancy food rich in choline for that baby.

Flax meal. High fiber, excellent source of Omega-3s, vitamin E, and B complex vitamins, and minerals such as: manganese, potassium, calcium, iron, magnesium, zinc and selenium.

Black strap molasses. I think this is a superfood – medicinal powerhouse.

“Blackstrap molasses has a low glycemic index. This means the glucose and carbohydrates are metabolized slowly, demanding less insulin production and stabilizing blood sugar. This results in less lipids or fats being stored in the liver while reducing your diabetes 2 risk factor.

Because of its high iron content, many use blackstrap molasses to holistically overcome anemia. Iron is essential to creating red blood cells. In addition to iron, blackstrap molasses contains folate, a natural source for folic acid, along with some other B vitamins, which all combine to form the synergistic mix that promotes red blood cell production.

Then there is magnesium in abundance, along with calcium. Magnesium is important for balancing calcium for bone production and energy. It is necessary for the smooth function of our nervous system. The mineral is essential to over 300 metabolic processes and the synthesis of almost all the other minerals and vitamins.”

Read more:

Oh, and did I mention, they are delightful? Okay here you go buttercup.

All Day Morning Sickness Cookies

Wet (mix first)

  • two eggs 
  • 1/2 cup nuttzo
  • 1/2 cup melted unsalted kerrygold butter
  • 1 teaspoon anise extract (optional)
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 1/4 cup blackstrap molasses (could maybe even do 1/2 cup)
  • 4 inch piece ginger fresh grated

Dry (mix separately, then slowly incorporate into wet mixture)

  • ½ cup coconut sugar
  • 2 teaspoons cinnamon
  • 1 cup coconut flour
  • 2 tablespoons flax meal
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • pinch of salt
  • extra molasses, to garnish cookies

morning sickness cookies

Spoon out 1 tablespoon droplets onto a parchment lined or salpit lined cookie sheet, bake at 350 for 8-9 minutes. Allow to cool completely before removing from tray (I stick mine in the freezer for a few minutes). Add to plate and sprinkle with a little coconut sugar. Give to your favorite prego.



In other news, if you follow me on Insta (@eatcleanpissglitter, duh) you already know. BUTT, yesterday I discovered that you can add fizz (carbonated water) to Starsucks drinks! Yessss, uh-huh I KNOW. So I got a half green half passion fruit iced tea ADD FIZZ. NO sugar. SOOOOOO AMAZING. Pregos need two things: fizz and cookies.

x to the ohhhh


Easy. Healthy. Dessert. Proyo Recipe.

proyo recipe

Holy delightful #proyo batman.
1/2 cup organic full fat Greek yogurt
1 scoop of @source_organic whey
1 teaspoon flaxseed meal
2 teaspoons cocoa powder

skinnytips: Skinny mini cinnamony yogurt recipe

This gallery contains 1 photo.

Stupid easy delights. 1/2 cup full fat organic yogurt (my fave is Strauss creamery) + 1-2 teaspoons of cinnamon or more + a shake or two of sea salt. Blend enjoy. Cinnamon makes her taste like sugared cinnamon buttery buns. Bonus: yogurt gives you a good dose of probiotics for your gut, cinnamon helps you burn chub rub. #cleandessert #cheatclean #yogurt #probiotics #eatcleanpissglitter

#kindOctober Salad – Spicy Kale Slaw

This just in…

we love KALE SLAW!!!! Its sooooo effing good. Seriously, even if you cant stand this amazing green leafy superfood you may want to give it another shot with this ishhhh. It’s too legit to quit. 

(yesss….need to work on my onion slicing skilzzzz)

  • Two heaping handfuls of KALE SLAW
  • 1 Sliced Red Hot Chili Pepper
  • 1/2 Sliced Avocado
  • Sliced Red Onions 
  • Leftover veggies (we had broccollini)
  • Capful Extra Virgin Olive Oil
  • Capful Balsalmic Vinegar
  • 1/2 Lemon

Throw this deliciousness in your most favorite bowl. Mix EVOO, Vinegar, and lemon to dress salad. Eat. 


#kindOctober breakfast: Choco Blueberry Protein Muffins!

Best thing in the world = wholesome breakfast full of protein, good carbs and fruit that keeps you full for what feels like all day long!! In the spirit of #kindOctoberand not eating processed foods (think any junk from a wrapper like chips no effing chips!) So we did some experimenting on protein muffins that will last us a week of breakfast! Enter:

choco blueberry protein muffins!!!

protein muffins

  • 3/4 cup of organic almond milk
  • 4 Tablespoons of Flax meal
  • **This is the equivalent of 3 flax eggs – DISSOLVE this together first before adding other ingredients
  • 4 scoops of brown rice protein 
  • 1 cup of organic non fat goat milk yogurt
  • 1 bag of organic frozen blueberries
  • 1/2 cup of gluten free organic oats
  • 4 tablespoons of organic chia seeds
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • Optional for sweetness – add a tablespoon of organic stevia

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes = 6 protein muffin goodness!

#BeezyCocoa: The Skinny Version of Hot Cocoa!

Did you know that virgin cocoa (has not yet been penetrated by chemicals or sugars) otherwise known as raw cacao and the main ingredient in chocolate is extremely good for you? Packed with antioxidants, iron, magnesium and FIBER allegedly AND it tastes like chocolate… as it should.

Turn on your teapot, and get ready to pour yourself a cup of #moredeliciousnessthansex.

  • 1 tablespoon of raw cacao powder (beezies like Navitas)
  • 1/2 packet of organic stevia
  • 1 cup of hot water
  • 1 splash of organic almond milk
  • Stir together, sip sip enjoy 65ish calories of delight!

skinny hot cocoa